...at Nite

I’ll be the first one to admit that I had it easy when it came to my babies. Both healthy, both ate and slept well, even if they didn’t do it exactly how or when I wanted them to. I didn’t breast feed, so I think we didn’t go through as many of the growing pains that some people go through while waiting for their babies to start feeding more conveniently. My oldest was taking 4 oz at a time almost immediately and my youngest took a little bit longer, but it wasn’t that bad. Because of that, my oldest was sleeping 5 and 6 hours at a stretch at about 10 days. Can’t complain about that. You just can’t. My youngest could go 6-8 hours almost immediately, but it wasn’t exactly at night when I wanted her to, it was more like 6 pm – midnight or 1 am. Still, I know plenty of parents who would be thrilled to have that kind of baby.

I’ve been sitting up, enjoying the quiet of the early morning for the last few hours. The dog wanted out and since I had gone to bed so early (like 9 pm) I didn’t feel like I could push him off till morning. I tried to go back to sleep, which normally is no problem, but today, it just didn’t work.

So, instead, I’ve been watching Bill Cosby and trying to get sleepy. I love Nick at Nite. The Cosby Show. Family Ties. All in the Family. It’s a love I rediscovered in the middle of the night with my babies.

There is something so sweet and simple about a baby, especially a new baby, who just needs to be changed and fed and held in the middle of the night. Like I said, I was lucky, it wasn’t endless for me. A few weeks with my oldest and 6 months with my youngest.
It’s a sweet special time and something I actually miss. Sitting here in the middle of the night watching Nick at Nite, I resisted the urge to go check on them, crawl in bed beside them and just breathe them in.

I can’t quite articulate it, but it’s been kind of nice this morning, being up. Remembering. Feeling like I was close enough to touch it. It’s like magic. It’s like a memory I can wrap around me and curl up on the couch with. They can’t stay little forever, but I will forever be the woman who held them in the morning hours. That alone is a gift.