I was talking to a friend about her oldest child possibly babysitting my girls for a hour or so. Her son is 14 and my girls are 8 and 5. The timing didn't work out, so my friend offerened to watch my girls herself, just out of kindness. We talked for a while about a number of things and we decided that the oldest would possibly want to babysit another time and maybe even that her 11 year old would be a good fit for babysitting since my girls are a bit older and are long out of diapers.
I informed my girls that they would spend some time at my friends house. My 8 year old didn't quite understand, so I explained that my friend's oldest son wouldn't be there, but the other kids would be there, 2 around her age and a middle son who was 11. She looked over at me very interested.
"An 11 year old boy?"
"Yes"
And I look at her trying to figure out that look.
"Why is that interesting?"
"No reason" she told me and smiled and couldn't meet my eyes.
Great. That's all I need. I guess the 11 year old is a bad idea. And then it hit me like a bucket of ice water. She'll be 11 in 3 years. Capable of watching herself. Capable of staying home alone. 3 years ago she was in kindergarten, and in 3 years she'll be in middle school. I know it's just math. I know it's logical. But I know how quickly these last 3 years have gone. I can't even fathom how quickly then next 3 will go.
And suddenly I'm terrified and there's not nearly enough time to teach her everything I need to.
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This is where we are. I asked a friend to watch Dawson on Saturday while I am in STL for my HS reunion - she couldn't and suggested I hire a classmate of Andersen's....ahhhhh....classmate hello....if Andersen isn't old enough in my eyes to watch Dawson home alone for 9 hours why would I hire a little girl that comes for sleepovers? Andersen can sit at home and watch her siblings for short times......but she is 10.....but she doesn't seem old enough for long stints - yet maybe she is??
ReplyDeleteAll of Mike's friends are older than us. Most of them have been divorced and have to deal with shared custody, etc. It seems to be that the general consensus is that 11 is old enough to be home alone legally. The parents themselves may disagree, but if your ex husband leaves your 11 year old home alone (for "reasonable amounts of time", there isn't any recourse from what I've been told.
ReplyDeleteThen again, a friend of ours has a friend with CPS and she was told that as soon as your children are old enough not to open a door to strangers, then they are old enough. For some children, that may mean 9, for others, not until they're 14. She said that's the criteria they use when actually creating a casefile.