It’s always the same. I walk off the plane and it just feels different. Not like vacation. It feels like home. It’s as close as I can come to going back.
Everything changes. Landmarks, traffic, people. But there’s something to be said for knowing the back roads. To memories that emminate from simply stepping out of a car and listening to the sound of your own feet on pavement. Home.
It’s been years since I’ve been back like that. It’s been over 10 years since I’ve been back by myself. And no matter how much I love my husband, it’s not a journey I can take with him. He’s too much of a part of me, I am a whole other person (arguably a better person) because of him. I can’t remember that girl I once was because I see myself through his eyes now, and he just never knew her.
Finding my touchstone. Just letting myself remember that part of myself. Seeing my reflection in the eyes of people who knew me when. There was so much good back then. Yes, there still is, but I miss yesterday. I just wanna touch it again. Just to make sure it really ever existed at all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
grrr I can't figure out how to edit
ReplyDelete*emanate
I know that feeling. It's strange. I feel it when I go to Tulsa, which is where I went to college. That was the first time I lived on my own and really experienced life as me, not someone's daughter or sister, etc.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're having a tremendous time. Enjoy!
thank you.. and I'm sure I will... it won't be for another 3 weeks. You just know me, I start having anticipatory anxiety/euphoria wayyyyy too early.. *laughs*
ReplyDelete