Stretch

At some point, concrete floors became almost painful to sit on. I remember summer after summer of living practically naked, tanned skin, wind tangled hair, riding my bike (with spikes on the pedals no less) with bare feet. Wild Child comes to mind. We picnicked on sidewalks, stared up at the clouds on driveways, and now, as a woman of almost 34 years, sitting on the ground is practically painful.

So, I stretch. Every day. And if I don't, my body aches. It's like somewhere, somehow, when I wasn't keeping better track, someone came in and changed my body on me. I still like my hands and I still like my legs (well, the bottom 7/8th), but how did I get these old lady arms? And what really confuses me is that I know for a fact that I have better upper body strength than I've ever had. 7 years of carrying not-so-small babies will do that to you.

I continue to work on my cartwheel and my wall-stands. My center of gravity is still way way way way confusing to compensate for. It's like the natural laws of physics are screaming out.. nooooooooo you're not meant to do this anymore. But it makes me mad, and it kind of scares me, so yeah, I'm going to keep doing it. Because nothing scares me more than being afraid of something - living in fear of something.

So I stretch. And then I walk. And sometimes I get very brave and throw myself at the ground and hope that I can manage a little finesse. And usually I do. It's different, this body they left me when they were done tinkering with it. It's kind of a cool body. Not in that Hollywood airbrushed kind of way, but in its abilities and the way moves. It knows how to do the baby bop in its sleep. It still knows how to get butterflies every once in a while, but luckily, it figured out a while back how to tell the brain that one more drink is a very bad idea. And you know what? They listen to each other! Imagine that?

According to Mary Schmidt (Wear Sunscreen), it is the greatest instrument we will ever own. I try to remember that when I have to buy outfits to accomodate my body. It's not about how we look. It's about how we feel and what we do with our bodies that matters.

The truth is, stretching feels good. We're all just a little spoiled. And we don't like to have to work hard for something that once upon a time, came effortlessly. But with that effort comes appreciation. And maybe thats what this whole thing has been about. You don't appreciate your body until you have to fight tooth and nail to keep it.

Just my thoughts. And yes, I know, it's 1am. I'm a bad bad person. *sighs*